Currrent #5

SEVEN





George and Susan, heading home from the restaurant. George is happy,
smiling and whistling.

GEORGE: I think they really went for that Soda.

SUSAN: What, are you crazy? They hated it. They were just humouring
you.

GEORGE: Ah, alright. Believe me, that kid's gonna be called Soda.

SUSAN: I can tell you, I would never name my child Soda.

GEORGE: Oh, no no no. Course not. I got a great name for our kids. A
Real original. You wanna hear what it is? Huh, you ready?

SUSAN: Yeah.

George uses his finger to draw a number 7 in the air, accompanying the
Strokes of his digit with a two-tone whistle.

SUSAN: What is that? Sign language?
GEORGE: No, Seven.

SUSAN: Seven Costanza? You're serious?

GEORGE: Yeah. It's a beautiful name for a boy or a girl...
Susan scoffs.

GEORGE: ...especially a girl. Or a boy.

SUSAN: I don't think so.

GEORGE: What, you don't like the name?

SUSAN: It's not a name. It's a number.

GEORGE: I know. It's Mickey Mantle's number. So not only is it an all
Around beautiful name, it is also a living tribute.

SUSAN: It's awful. I hate it!

GEORGE: (angry) Well, that's the name!

SUSAN: (also angry) Oh no it is not! No child of mine is ever going to
be named Seven!

GEORGE: (yelling) Awright, let's just stay calm here! Don't get all
crazy on me!

[Jerry's Apartment]

Jerry walks from the bathroom, talking to George, who's just told him
about his contretemps with Susan.

JERRY: Seven? Yeah, I guess I could see it. Seven. Seven periods of
school, seven beatings a day. Roughly seven stitches a beating, and eventually
seven years to life. Yeah, you're doing that child quite a service.

GEORGE: (adamant) Yes I am. I defy you to come up with a better name
than Seven.

Jerry walks toward the kitchen. He sees an item on the counter.

JERRY: Awright, let's see. How about Mug? (picks up the mug) Mug
Costanza, that's original. (he turns and sees another item) Or uh, Ketchup?
Pretty name for a girl.

GEORGE: Alright, you having a good time there?

Jerry is in the kitchen, and opens a cupboard. His eyes run over the
array of good within.

JERRY: I got fifty right here in the cupboard. How about Bisquik?
Pimento. Gherkin. Sauce. Maxwell House.

GEORGE: (shouts) Awright already!! This is a very key issue with me,